Dearest Saviour,
Aganit Vandans to YOU from every cell and drop of blood.
Sahebji this is going to be a slightly longish one. Thank you.
After a long time was attending a non-mumukshu wedding for 3 days.
Am physically in Mumbai and but constantly at Your Glorious Charan Kamal.
Everything i see, hear, experience, do or share is about You and Krupaludev.
Dev, am sharing my thoughts here in love and gratitude for Your Love.
This is one of those large family, hi-society wedding with all the bells, whistles and flavours of a big bonanza.
As i sat in one corner observing the proceedings sometimes as a witness and sometimes as a participant, everything here took me back to Your Grace.
Sometimes remembering Your lessons, words and youtube-shorts.
Sometimes remembering Your actions, reactions and prescriptions.
Sometimes remembering Your questions, answers and clarifications.
As i saw People meeting and greeting each other like long lost friends – my mind sang… punarapi jananam, punarapi maranam punarapi janani jhathre shayanam, ehu sansaare bahu dushkare, kripayaa paare paahi murare from Bhaj Govindam.
As i watched everyone in their best clothes, jewellery and make up – my mind skipped to Your words………You have begged God so much to once again get manushya janm, to do his Bhakti, Seva and Sadananda but how we get lost on the way with ego, raag and dwesh.
As i listened to the various forms of music through via Band, Dj & Geet- sangeet …… i hear You say, reserve Your Best for Him and offer it with utmost purity and love. Like you did when Bhagwaan came to the Ashram. i too danced but for Param Krupaludev and YOU.
Over the 3 days, we had 12+ courses of meals & got a bit tired of trying, eating, tasting, relishing…….my heart told me, think of how myDEV, how he uses aahaar from so many different homes all around the year and stays equanimous and smiling to all that is offered lovingly only for the kalyaan of others. Saheb, YOU eat from different homes almost everyday, with different tastes, preparation styles, spices, ingredients and recipes and yet stay amazingly fresh and smiling.
For each event, the decoration and hall preparations were elaborate, specific and hectic…….. i recalled what You had shared in Delhi after the Presidents show, am sharing from my notes of that day…..
“
Devo jyare samosaran ni rachna kare to khub khub nirjara kare ane ghana, kyarek to ek avatari bane ena karane…
Even the ones who sweep the floors, clean the place, build it, plan it or even just play music or light an agarbatti or any such small Seva too leads to khub khub karma ni nirjara.
Dev said, many a time, they may not always listen to Bhagwaans deshana too but their seva has the power of nirjara that can make them ekavatari.
they do it in Love,
they do it in Gratitude,
they do it with ahobhav,
they do it to show their appreciation &
they do it out of love for Grace showered on them,
they do it in return for the Upkaars showered on them
and that’s all, they don’t do they do it for any other reason.
“
After seeing the decorations here, i was suddenly missing You too much as tears swelled my eyes.
Sahebji, sometimes even i have no idea how much You are in me, my thoughts, my responses and my actions.
Dev, meeting people – as i was seeing young and old dressed in their best, to please, to boast and tocompete. All kinds of costumes, jewellery and make ups were competing for a glance, a compliment or an acknowledgement- my eyes were focusing of their Souls and their inner self, quietly saying a prayer for them to get connected to Krupaludev. With every hug, I would pary in my mind, ‘tane Param Krupaludev nu sharanu maljo’
Sweet Saheb, as i was witnessing the Vidhi, my mind was saying…. even Bhagwaan participated in similar vidhi but He masterfully made it His ‘last phera’ and here, we get so caught up that, kshana kshnan paribhraman seeds are sown by our bhaavs, parinaams and icchas.
Sahebji, people have taken a million pictures of themselves, friends and family, at every corner, backdrop or decoration and postures, as i watched this, my mind was saying ……why preserve, appreciate and recall these memories when we have forgotten zillion others that took us to so many gatis over & over. If i remember even one past janm, then Patrank 128 would bloom in my ❤️ & Soul.
Watching grandparent’s drool over their grandchildren and parents swoon of their children during the dances and performances. i was thinking of gatha 115 of Bhagwaan’s most generous gift – Shri Atmasiddhiji – Raag, dwesh, agnaan ae, mukhya karma ni granth; thai nivrutti jeha thi ej moksh no panth.
Dev, sitting in one corner, as i saw people’s interactions and conversations, the overriding influence of Laxmi, Adhikaar and Parivaar was ever present and i shivered slightly, at one time i was a part of this waltz & drama but Your Grace has now beautifully shut that door tightly for me.
Oh Saheb the rush and focus on food was a site to behold. 3-4 meals with 50+ varieties in each round was normal. The eyes saw, the ears heard and the mouth wouldn’t stop as the body was burdened beyond all reasonable limits. i was remembering You mentioning that the aahar sanghana as one o our primal instincts. i too ate but not with teevea ras remembering Your bodh on rasparityaag and aymbel oli.
Gurudev, this wedding was attended by all age groups, 5 months, 25 years, 50years and 90 year olds too, all engrossed in everything worldly and pudgal, but for Your Love Goggles i too would be part of the wedding in every possible way, they saved me from so many
Saheb, my Heart is full of Love for You and Bhagwan and it is empty of so so many other desires, wants and preferences. This is not a small magic, this is a miracle.
All of the above experiences would not have happened but for You. You are my Saviour, You are my Kalyaan data, You are my most Gracious Benefactor.
Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.